Luminalogue

Growing Seeds of Compassion

Recently, I was fortunate to be one of the many thousands of people gathered together in Seattle for Seeds of Compassion with His Holiness the Dalai Lama, Archbishop Desmond Tutu, and other noted speakers.  For five remarkable days, faces beamed, hearts bloomed, and commitments sprouted in response to a simple, yet profound, theme of growing compassion in and for the world.  Like many of the other workshop hosts engaged in this event, I was and am inspired by this collective inquiry into compassion--what it looks like, how it is experienced, how we can embrace it more fully in the context of our day-to-day lives--for ourselves, each other, and our children around the world. 

I am grateful to my co-hosts and to the many volunteers and participants who engaged in the Reflection & Conversation Space, variously offering their stories, curiosity, creativity, and presence throughout the conference.  Here are a few memorable moments of our time together...

A Story of Compassion

I was particularly touched by a story a young woman shared on the final day, reflecting on a comment made earlier that morning by Joan Halifax Roshi.  The woman told us how she has for many years suffered with a broken heart, but that her whole experience shifted as she heard one phrase Joan spoke--that the heart is broken open.  In that moment, her broken-heartedness became open-heartedness, and her love and light shined through as she spoke.  Her story was (and is) a powerful reminder to us all of how deeply our individual perspective influences our experience and how much our different perspectives can teach if we are willing to listen to each other.

Compassion-Inspired Art

" The human hand is so beautifully formed, its actions are so powerful, so free and yet so delicate that there is no thought of its complexity as an instrument; we use it as we draw our breath, unconsciously."  Sir Charles Bell

We invited participants to create a Hands of Compassion Mandala, expressing images and words of compassion in the form of hands.  Children and adults alike were inspired to participate, coloring and conversing throughout the event, occasionally exclaiming in delight at the wonderful profusion of hands.  May we continue to use our beautiful hands as conscious instruments of compassion.

A Place to Start: Genuine Smiling for the World

Reflecting in the final conversation circle, I commented that compassion can be as simple as a smile, recalling a former client who came to work with me because of a smile.  A few days before she contacted me, she was contemplating suicide on her commute to work when a woman on the train caught her eye and smiled.  Apparently, the depth of connection in that moment inspired a bit of hope and this client changed her mind, opening herself to life.  To think that a simple, genuine smile between strangers can make a difference between life and death! 

Later, perusing the Dalai Lama's website, I found this quote: 

"Though sometimes people laugh when I say it, I myself always want more friends. I love smiles. Because of this I have the problem of knowing how to make more friends and how to get more smiles, in particular, genuine smiles. For there are many kinds of smile, such as sarcastic, artificial or diplomatic smiles. Many smiles produce no feeling of satisfaction, and sometimes they can even create suspicion or fear, can't they? But a genuine smile really gives us a feeling of freshness and is, I believe, unique to human beings. If these are the smiles we want, then we ourselves must create the reasons for them to appear."

His Holiness the Dalai Lama

May we all create the reasons for genuine smiles to appear.  May we open ourselves to experiencing and expressing our innate capacity for compassion.  May seeds of compassion continue to grow...

Participant-centered Design: How to Design Events Worth Attending

Whenever I get asked to do a presentation, I always have mixed thoughts.  I’m grateful that someone values my perspective enough to invite me to share it, but I’m also concerned that people will expect me to do all the talking.  Most people who know me well will tell you that I consider myself to be less of a public speaker and more of a conversation-starter.  I enjoy presentations if they catalyze meaningful conversation and action, but I prefer more participant-centered events.

If you look up monologue in the dictionary, you will find the following definition: a long speech monopolizing conversation.  Dialogue, on the other hand refers to a conversation between two or more persons; an exchange of ideas and opinions.  There’s no denying that monological presentations can be useful for setting contexts, delivering content, and providing passive entertainment (assuming the speaker is entertaining), but they can also suck the life out of a group of otherwise engaging people more quickly than a leech at a blood-letting. 

Most of us have had the unfortunate experience of sitting through a well-intended, but counting-the-seconds-until-it’s-over, mind-numbing presentation—and when the folks attending to the “butts-in-seats,” haven’t been as attentive to the comfort of the butts-in-seats—even butt-numbing presentation.  Some of us have even had the unfortunate experience of delivering the well-intended, mind-numbing, butt-numbing presentation (so, so sorry). 

As one such person, I've learned a lot over the years (as I continue to learn) about how to design and facilitate interesting, engaging participant experiences.  I imagine much of what I have to say on the subject is nothing new.  However, I am still amazed at the number of well-intended, well-attended events that deliver a less-than-optimal participant experience than was possible with a little more skillful design and facilitation, so I offer what follows as a conversation-starter for anyone involved in designing and/or facilitating events large or small with full appreciation for just how challenging it can be to create an event that not only fulfills its purpose, but actually inspires, the majority of participants. 

Obviously, there are numerous aspects involved in producing a great event, and numerous kinds of events from social gatherings to fundraisers to workshops and conferences.  What most interests me for the purpose of this exploration is attempting to articulate practical, guiding principles that increase the probability that participants will have a great experience at any organized event, although my examples usually assume larger events.  When I speak of “participants,” I am most often referring to those whose primary role is to attend and participate in the event, although in the broadest sense, all who participate in an event as sponsors, speakers, facilitators, volunteers, etc. are also participants.

The number of “butts-in-seats,” though an important, if somewhat crudely stated, success measure, matters less to me than the quality of the participants’ experience.  In fact, I suspect that the more we attend to the participant experience as the most essential part of our design and facilitation, the more likely it is that they will attend our events. 

And so, without further ado, I invite you to pause and ponder…to enquire and share…  And of course, do make yourself comfortable... Here are a few thoughts about how to increase the likelihood that participants will have a great experience.