Conspicuous Contentment

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

To live content with small means, to seek elegance rather than luxury, and refinement rather than fashion, to be worthy, not respectable, and wealthy, not rich, to study hard, think quietly, talk gently, act frankly, to listen to stars and birds, to babes and sages, with open heart, to bear all cheerfully, do all bravely, await occasions, hurry never, in a word to let the spiritual, unbidden and unconscious, grow up through the common, this is to be my symphony
- William Ellery Channing

Nine requisites for contented living:
Health enough to make work a pleasure. Wealth enough to support your needs. Strength enough to battle with difficulties and overcome them. Grace enough to confess your sins and forsake them. Patience enough to toil until some good is accomplished. Charity enough to see some good in your neighbor. Love enough to move you to be useful and helpful to others. Faith enough to make real the things of God. Hope enough to remove all anxious fears concerning the future
- Goethe 

I like stuff as much as the next person, maybe more than some; less than many, but lately I've been wondering what it would be like to live in a culture of conspicuous contentment rather than conspicuous consumption...

At the heart of the average American discontent is an unquenchable desire for more--to have more, do more, be more... We want more money, more time, more meaning, more connection.  We want more of what matters—and of course, what matters is often in flux.  But the wanting—well, that seems to be constant.   

It seems it is rare to have enough, do enough, or be enough without the curious yen for more arising.  Ironically, it seems that enough is somehow lacking.  Yet, how can enough not be enough?  After all, the very nature of enough is sufficiency and satisfaction.

But we've convinced ourselves that we need more, that more is better.  So we pursue more.  We have more.  We do more.  More than we need in an attempt to have, do, and be more of whatever matters, but more is an empty promise, a culturally sanctioned addiction. Pursuing more is like eating empty calories that feed our hunger without the requisite nourishment for true health.  Most often, our pursuit of more results in nothing more than more work, more stress, more debt, and more desire for what else?  More. 

And who can blame us?  The promise of more is seductive and addictive: when we have more, do more, and become more, we will have more, do more, and be more of what we really want.  It sounds good, doesn't it?   Except that even when we get what we want, if we believe that more is better, it is never enough, which means that we are always somehow wanting.  If more is better, in order to have more, do more, and be more, we can never rest.  We always have to have more, do more, and be more.  It's downright more-onic (sorry, couldn't help myself).

Yet, you may well ask, if we don't want more, won't we become complacent and passive?  Isn't progress, development, evolution served by this very desire for more?  After all, doesn't our pursuit of more motivate us to have, do, and be...well, more?  If we don't want more, won't we have, do, and be less? 

Maybe, but I wonder what if less really is more?  What if less is already more than enough?  Since we've indoctrinated ourselves to think that more is better, we often devalue what we already have, do, and are, but I think that if we're honest with ourselves and each other, we might discover that most of us already have, already do, and already are more than enough.  We might discover that emptying ourselves of our discontent begins with embracing this simple truth that often eludes us in our quest for more—that contentment lies not in having, doing, and being more, but rather in simultaneously wanting less while appreciating the abundance that is already ours.

In so doing, we might enable those who truly need more to have enough, and we might begin to shift the culture of conspicuous consumption to one of conspicuous contentment.  And what more could we really want?

Comments

[Leah Libow]

Thank you Karen for this well thought out response to conspicuous consumption. Jack Kornfield in a Dharma talk repeated some advice he got from a teacher..."Why not want what you have, and not want what you don't have." This teaching has stuck with me through thick and thin. And now, as I begin to create a life of contentment, I find myself balancing my need for new clothing, a new job, stuff to make my home cozy, more money in the bank, and more time on my hands,... with what what you call conspicuous contentment. I find myself stepping back from the almost painful desire of thinking that i need cetain things on the outside to make the struggles of transitioning from Graduate to Post-Grad and health challenged to energetic and able bodied easier....and taking a look at what is most important to me: ease and wellness of body, mind and spirit, time with friends and family (and other fuzzy creatures), sharing my talents with the world (ie meaningful work), political activism, enjoying nature, fun and relaxation...etc.etc..

Contentment comes from a place deep inside oneself where judgement is left out to dry, and self love reigns. (sometimes easier said then done)

Like you said, the yearning and desire we each feel to the core is not about purchasing the latest fashion...its about self expression and realtionship to our selves and others...when we have true quality of Life (without the pricetag), when we Love and are Loved, what more could we really want?