Luminalogue

Inspiration from a 93-year Old Yoga Teacher

Tao Porchon-Lynch, a 93-year-old yoga teacher and dancer, shares a bit of her yoga philosophy (while graciously enduring the inept and silly commentary from her interviewers).   For more of her inspiring story, read Tao's recently published book, Reflections: The Yogic Journey of Life. 

Shake Up Your Story

Raghava KK shares his marvelously creative approach to multi-perspectival awareness... enjoy!

 

Talk to Strangers

A powerful reminder from the ever-inspiring and thought-provoking Saul Williams...

Growing Seeds of Compassion

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Recently, I was fortunate to be one of the many thousands of people gathered together in Seattle for Seeds of Compassion with His Holiness the Dalai Lama, Archbishop Desmond Tutu, and other noted speakers.  For five remarkable days, faces beamed, hearts bloomed, and commitments sprouted in response to a simple, yet profound, theme of growing compassion in and for the world.  Like many of the other workshop hosts engaged in this event, I was and am inspired by this collective inquiry into compassion--what it looks like, how it is experienced, how we can embrace it more fully in the context of our day-to-day lives--for ourselves, each other, and our children around the world. 

I am grateful to my co-hosts and to the many volunteers and participants who engaged in the Reflection & Conversation Space, variously offering their stories, curiosity, creativity, and presence throughout the conference.  Here are a few memorable moments of our time together...

A Story of Compassion

I was particularly touched by a story a young woman shared on the final day, reflecting on a comment made earlier that morning by Joan Halifax Roshi.  The woman told us how she has for many years suffered with a broken heart, but that her whole experience shifted as she heard one phrase Joan spoke--that the heart is broken open.  In that moment, her broken-heartedness became open-heartedness, and her love and light shined through as she spoke.  Her story was (and is) a powerful reminder to us all of how deeply our individual perspective influences our experience and how much our different perspectives can teach if we are willing to listen to each other.

Compassion-Inspired Art

" The human hand is so beautifully formed, its actions are so powerful, so free and yet so delicate that there is no thought of its complexity as an instrument; we use it as we draw our breath, unconsciously." 

Sir Charles Bell

We invited participants to create a Hands of Compassion Mandala, expressing images and words of compassion in the form of hands.  Children and adults alike were inspired to participate, coloring and conversing throughout the event, occasionally exclaiming in delight at the wonderful profusion of hands.  May we continue to use our beautiful hands as conscious instruments of compassion.

A Place to Start: Genuine Smiling for the World

Reflecting in the final conversation circle, I commented that compassion can be as simple as a smile, recalling a former client who came to work with me because of a smile.  A few days before she contacted me, she was contemplating suicide on her commute to work when a woman on the train caught her eye and smiled.  Apparently, the depth of connection in that moment inspired a bit of hope and this client changed her mind, opening herself to life.  To think that a simple, genuine smile between strangers can make a difference between life and death! 

Later, perusing the Dalai Lama's website, I found this quote: 

"Though sometimes people laugh when I say it, I myself always want more friends. I love smiles. Because of this I have the problem of knowing how to make more friends and how to get more smiles, in particular, genuine smiles. For there are many kinds of smile, such as sarcastic, artificial or diplomatic smiles. Many smiles produce no feeling of satisfaction, and sometimes they can even create suspicion or fear, can't they? But a genuine smile really gives us a feeling of freshness and is, I believe, unique to human beings. If these are the smiles we want, then we ourselves must create the reasons for them to appear."

His Holiness the Dalai Lama

May we all create the reasons for genuine smiles to appear.  May we open ourselves to experiencing and expressing our innate capacity for compassion.  May seeds of compassion continue to grow...

Finding Our Way Through

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Love and compassion are necessities, not luxuries.  Without them humanity cannot survive.
     ~ Dalai Lama

A human being is a part of the whole called by us universe, a part limited in time and space. He experiences himself, his thoughts and feeling as something separated from the rest, a kind of optical delusion of his consciousness. This delusion is a kind of prison for us, restricting us to our personal desires and to affection for a few persons nearest to us. Our task must be to free ourselves from this prison by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature in its beauty.
     ~ Albert Einstein

If there was a conversation that could begin to ease all suffering--within yourself, within others, and within the world--wouldn't you want to join that conversation?  Earlier this year, I received an invitation to work with Ashley Cooper and Melanie Wroe to produce a guidebook for Seeds of Compassion, an initiative to nurture kindness and compassion in the world.  We were asked to create a simple process that anyone could use to engage in meaningful conversation about compassion--what it means, what it looks like, and how we can embody it more fully in our world.

Since the publication of this guidebook, Compassion Circles are cropping up everywhere.  In libraries, homes, work-places, churches and play-grounds, ordinary people from all walks of life are taking time out of their busy lives to sit in circles, reflect and converse with each other about compassion.  Melanie, Ashley, and I have had the privilege of hosting some of these gatherings, and every time, I am moved by the experience of being part of a room full of people deeply engaged in conversation about a topic that is so essentially human...so familiar, and yet somehow, often remote from our conscious experience.  It is heartening to see so many people involved in making compassion more explicit in our world.

At a recent gathering, participants observed that the primary words embedded in the word compassion are compass and passion.  Curious to follow that etymological conversation thread, I went to my dictionary where I learned that a compass is not only an instrument for finding one's way, but also a means to bring about and comprehend.  And passion is not only a strong desire, but also a suffering.  It seems that in compassion we have the potential not only to comprehend, but also to find our way through suffering--to extend our small circles of caring beyond ourselves and our familiars to encompass humanity and the world.

What if we can find a way to see beyond our "optical delusions of consciousness" and connect with each other through our suffering?  What if we can find a way to be our best even when we are at our worst?  What if we can create a space to reflect and enquire--to ask valuable questions that get to the heart of what matters?  If you're curious and inspired, please join the conversation and host a Compassion Circle... because it takes all of us to grow the seed within each of us.

Participant-centered Design: How to Design Events Worth Attending

Whenever I get asked to do a presentation, I always have mixed thoughts.  I’m grateful that someone values my perspective enough to invite me to share it, but I’m also concerned that people will expect me to do all the talking.  Most people who know me well will tell you that I consider myself to be less of a public speaker and more of a conversation-starter.  I enjoy presentations if they catalyze meaningful conversation and action, but I prefer more participant-centered events.

If you look up monologue in the dictionary, you will find the following definition: a long speech monopolizing conversation.  Dialogue, on the other hand refers to a conversation between two or more persons; an exchange of ideas and opinions.  There’s no denying that monological presentations can be useful for setting contexts, delivering content, and providing passive entertainment (assuming the speaker is entertaining), but they can also suck the life out of a group of otherwise engaging people more quickly than a leech at a blood-letting. 

Most of us have had the unfortunate experience of sitting through a well-intended, but counting-the-seconds-until-it’s-over, mind-numbing presentation—and when the folks attending to the “butts-in-seats,” haven’t been as attentive to the comfort of the butts-in-seats—even butt-numbing presentation.  Some of us have even had the unfortunate experience of delivering the well-intended, mind-numbing, butt-numbing presentation (so, so sorry). 

As one such person, I've learned a lot over the years (as I continue to learn) about how to design and facilitate interesting, engaging participant experiences.  I imagine much of what I have to say on the subject is nothing new.  However, I am still amazed at the number of well-intended, well-attended events that deliver a less-than-optimal participant experience than was possible with a little more skillful design and facilitation, so I offer what follows as a conversation-starter for anyone involved in designing and/or facilitating events large or small with full appreciation for just how challenging it can be to create an event that not only fulfills its purpose, but actually inspires, the majority of participants. 

Obviously, there are numerous aspects involved in producing a great event, and numerous kinds of events from social gatherings to fundraisers to workshops and conferences.  What most interests me for the purpose of this exploration is attempting to articulate practical, guiding principles that increase the probability that participants will have a great experience at any organized event, although my examples usually assume larger events.  When I speak of “participants,” I am most often referring to those whose primary role is to attend and participate in the event, although in the broadest sense, all who participate in an event as sponsors, speakers, facilitators, volunteers, etc. are also participants.

The number of “butts-in-seats,” though an important, if somewhat crudely stated, success measure, matters less to me than the quality of the participants’ experience.  In fact, I suspect that the more we attend to the participant experience as the most essential part of our design and facilitation, the more likely it is that they will attend our events. 

And so, without further ado, I invite you to pause and ponder…to enquire and share…  And of course, do make yourself comfortable... Here are a few thoughts about how to increase the likelihood that participants will have a great experience.

The Answers to our Prayers

Namaste... sanskrit word and Hindu greeting most literally translated as "I bow to you," meaning the divine within me recognizes the divine within you.

He drew a circle that shut me out--
Rebel, heretic, thing to flout.
But love and I had the wit to win.
We drew a circle that took him in.
                    Edwin Markham

About seven years ago, on my daily commute, I passed a woman from my neighborhood walking her dog.  As our paths crossed on the sidewalk, I smiled and said, "hello."  She glared at me and said nothing.  I figured that she was just having a bad day, and let it pass--until the next day, when the same thing happened.  I smiled and said hello.  She glared at me and said nothing. 

Shocked and more than a little miffed by her obvious lack of common courtesy, I carried that glare and the self-righteousness it inspired within me most of the day.  I mean, I didn't necessarily expect a response, but glaring at me for saying hello seemed downright rude. 

The next morning, having benefited from some quiet reflection and a good's night sleep, I thought that perhaps my greeting disturbed her morning solitude.  After all, I'm an introvert who can appreciate Sartre's oft-quoted maxim, "hell is other people at breakfast"--or "greeting me during my morning walk," as the case may be, so when we passed, I said nothing.  She glared at me.  Again.  I was shocked. 

The Language of Trees

     I went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately, to front only the essential facts of life, and see if I could not learn what it had to teach, and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived.            ~Henry David Thoreau

     And this, our life, exempt from public haunt, finds tongues in trees, books in the running brooks, sermons in stones, and good in everything.              ~William Shakespeare

     Trees are sanctuaries. Whoever knows how to speak to them, whoever knows how to listen to them, can learn the truth. They do not preach learning and precepts, they preach undeterred by particulars, the ancient law of life.             ~Hermann Hesse

Ever since I was a child, I have had this curious habit of talking to trees.  I find myself touching their trunks in passing, sitting at their roots to rest, and saying silent hellos...exchanging elements of air well-grounded in earth.  I have always loved their company.

I don't know when they started talking back...  Perhaps they were always talking, and I simply didn't hear or perhaps it took a while for me to extend the bounds of culturally-sanctioned sanity.  I don't know, but somehow it happened, and now, from time to time, I find myself deep in conversation with trees.

Questions Worth Asking...

My dear, is it true that your mind
Is sometimes like a battering
Ram
Running all through the city
Shouting so madly inside and out
About the ten thousand things
That do not matter?

Hafiz, Out of the Mouths of a Thousand Birds

Deep in American life lies a dormant soul, almost obliterated by politicians and media that consider it too lowly and weak for serious attention.
Thomas Moore

In my personal and professional development work, I spend a lot of time with questions. My questions. Client questions. Unasked and unanswered questions. Spiritual "meaning of life" questions. Transactional "get the job done" questions. Relational "getting to know you" questions. Easy questions. Hard questions. Rhetorical questions. In the course of all this questioning, I have noticed that the most powerful questions people ask are those that invoke reflection about what they value. I call these questions valuable questions.

Valuable questions are worth asking. They are questions of value that enable us to deepen who and how we are in the world--to grow, to change, to transform ourselves and others. They help us determine what really matters to us and what to do about it. How can I be a better person? What do I want to do with my life? How can I make money and make a difference in the world? How can I have meaningful relationships with people important to me? Valuable questions invoke reflection on how we value ourselves, our relationships, life conditions, and life pursuits.

They are also overwhelming and hard to answer because they take time. Even worse, valuable questions take personal time, and we are busy. We are a nation of people in a hurry, a culture addicted to well-marketed speed. This is not a novel observation. We all know it. Full-speed, speed to market. Fast food, fast cars, fast pace. Quick fixes. Rush hour, rush job, feel the rush. Instant coffee, instant gratification. We don't even read anymore; we scan, skim and surf our way through life.

Ours is a culture of pay per view relationships and substitute experiences, a culture that promotes spending more time with television "Friends" than with friends who really care. Most of us experience fifty to one hundred advertisements by nine in the morning. The entire world is at our fingertips--broadcast into our living rooms, our cars, our offices. Television, radio, billboards, snail mail, email, chat rooms, discussion boards, telemarketing. Even the spiritual has become commercial as corporations compete to sell us souls.

Reaction is better than inaction--and reflection, particularly self-reflection, is reserved for the self-absorbed or people with nothing better to do. Time out is a behavior modification technique for children and time off is regarded with suspicion. Vacations are prescriptions for preventing nervous breakdowns. We barely have time to sleep, let alone time to dream.

We simply don't have time for questions, valuable or otherwise. We want answers--and we want them fast. What am I going to wear today? Are we on schedule? Why am I doing this job anyway? Where did I put the car keys? Am I a good parent? How much is it going to cost? How am I going to make this payment? Why am I so worried? When will it be finished? Is it my turn to drive the kids? When am I going to get to the grocery store? What am I having for dinner? What's on TV tonight? Where's the remote control? When was the last time we had sex? How much sleep do I really need anyway? Is this what I really want? On any given day, there are so many questions competing for our attention, is it any wonder that we tend to neglect the most valuable for the least time-consuming?

Our personal time is in short supply and high demand. Most of us, of necessity, use our personal time to go to the dentist, pick up the dry-cleaning, and buy the groceries. We use personal time to socialize with friends, connect with partners and read to the kids. If we're lucky, we may have time leftover to get to the gym. In our culture, personal time is any time we spend outside of work, however impersonal, taking care of the rest of our lives, taking care of the people in our lives and--oh yes, taking care of ourselves. That too--and more often than not--that last. After all, personal time for truly personal use should be reserved for crises.

Basically, if we have any personal time at all, we should be shopping, cooking, cleaning, and socializing. We should be doing something--certainly not sitting around by ourselves inquiring about the meaning of life. We have Oprah for that--just turn on the television. Watch a meaningful life.

However, if we want to live meaningful lives, we have to occasionally turn off the television, the cell-phone and the computer. Leave the laundry for another day. Decline the invitation and order in. Whatever it takes, we have to take the time to ask ourselves the questions worth asking--value ourselves enough to ask the valuable questions. We have to get personal with our personal time and inquire into our own experience about what really matters.

We must breathe, reflect, be. Greet the moment with a deep sigh and a full heart. Now, that would be doing something.